knock knock a new dream

how to tell my story....
i have many dream a long time ago..
its like a huge mountain of beautiful gold..
take what i want to be..
choose and laugh hard, that will be a big life..
so proud of myself

BUT

lately..
many things changed..
i got a big damaged like a rude wave, touch me without 'hello'
shocked and almost knock me out of everything in my dream...
loneliness...doubt..guilty..mix up
paralyzed half of my body and brain
heart-mind-soul always debating everything in silence
no movement...no spirit...
even that time, my emotion feeling up on fire just by looking at someone
that's useless..
again..i'm coagulated own my own

always searching for a new point..

something realize me up about myself..

something hit me on about life

something that i cant hold on as a big power

its a difficult phase...really..
BUT fortunately...how lucky i am..
God still and always love me...
many healing voice come...

open all my sense heart

creating of abstract words

arranging of messy sentences 

writing all of s new paragraph

and that's a big new dream...

aloud clap and a big hysteria...
dancing like a broken machine...
yeah..found it..
my soul..
for my life..my family..
even still have a egoistic side..
this is so impressive...

#Thank you so much God...
Thanks a lot mom..dad...sista...bro...